If Santa Couldn't Use His Sleigh...What Would He Drive?
By William Ratcliff
Posted: 12-25-2024
On Christmas Eve, Santa's sleigh breaks down. Since he's at the North Pole, it's not covered under Triple A, so he's stuck at the North Pole! That is, until Mrs. Claus suggested he try a different approach this year. A more modern approach: cars! The only question is, what cars could he use to replace his sleigh?
Well Santa, we've got just the list for you.
Qualifications
Now to pick out such vehicles, we need to set a few ground rules. Santa's sleigh is magical and able to deliver billions of presents around the world, and can reach places you'd never dream of. So we're going to need a fleet of cars to satisfy this task. Additionally, we will have to throw in something to get across the water...but we'll get there.
So what are the qualifications a car needs to deliver presents?
1. Lots of power! Santa has a lot to deliver, he can't be waiting around for a 1.4L turbo to spool up.
2. Lots of storage space! If he's going to be delivering on ground, he'll need to keep it stocked. Even though he's probably got his sleigh magic in hand, it would be nice to help him out.
3. Lots of style! This requirement might seem silly, but would you expect Saint Nick to be driving a Corolla?
Now that we've set the ground rules, what cars have we picked?
Source: RatcliffReviews [Cadillac]
Cadillac Escalade V
It's big, it's red, and it's fast. That meets the checklist! But really, this is the most spacious and capable SUV you could find. With the second and third rows folded down, the Caddy has 121 cubic feet of interior volume. That's 3426 liters! Or 1713 Priuses!
Now as for power, the Escalade V shares the CT5-V Blackwing supercharged 6.2L V8. It swaps the CT5-V's 1.7L Roots supercharger for a 2.7. This boosts the horsepower to 682 and 653 lb-ft of torque. That can haul some presents!
The other benefit of the Cadillac Escalade V? Santa will be so comfortable he may even ditch his sleigh year-round!
What this use case?
Source: RatcliffReviews
Mustang Shelby GT500
Santa needs a car to compete with the speed of the sleigh. In the city, this monster can hustle. It has decent storage space, with 13.5 ft^3. The Shelby would be used for small packages, like Christmas cards, gift cards to Olive Garden, and issues of Car and Driver.
The Mustang packs a 5.2L supercharged V8 with 760 ponies and 625 lb-ft of torque. That's at least one raindeer's capabilities. Booted with carbon fiber wheels and Michelin Cup 2's, the Mustang can grip. It also boasts Ricaro seats to keep Santa in place around tight on ramps. The only issue? It gets approximately 2 miles per gallon (13 mpg as tested by Car and Driver).
Source: RatcliffReviews
Corvette C7 ZR1
Why do we need a Corvette when we have a Mustang? Well for one, Chevy fans would love to see Santa pull up in America's sports car. And for two, the ZR1 offers more downforce, top speed, and storage space than the Mustang. How much more speed? 188 mph top speed as tested by Car and Driver over the Mustang's 180. Storage space? 15 ft^3. Downforce? The car has a cornering grip of 1.18g. That's 118% of the force of gravity! Sideways!
The Corvette ZR1 features another supercharged V8. Over the LT4, the C7 Z06 motor that became the CT5-V Blackwing and Escalade V's, the LT5 has a Eaton TVS R2650 blower rated for 14 psi of boost. In a conversation about the new C8 Corvette ZR1, Corvette engineers admitted that the supercharged sucked nearly 150 hp. That means the engine actually produces upwards of 900 hp! Usable horsepower numbers are 755 hp at 6300 rpm, and 715 lb-ft of torque at 4400.
Source: RatcliffReviews
Ram TRX
You wanted a fridge for Christmas? Well here we are! The Ram TRX is an off-road beast with a 6.2L Hemi V8. And yes, it is of course supercharged to 702 hp and 650lb-ft of torque. Riding on 35 inch off-road tires, Bilstein remote dampers, and 13 inches of suspension travel. This gives the TRX an 11.8 inch ground clearance and is rated to be drivable for up to 32 inches of water.
This can also meet any Porsche 911 deliveries Santa has on his list. The TRX is not as capable as other RAMs, but it can tow up to 8100 lbs. This is enough to pull the ZR1 or the GT500! For payload, it is rated for 1310 lbs.
The Ram would be used for off-road excursions into the desert, or high in the mountains. Santa's got to get to those Alaskan AirBnB's!
Source: RatcliffReviews
2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT
Alright, now this isn't on here JUST because we wanted to see our car wrapped up in holiday cheer (we have a tan one, so it's not quite ours). But the Grand Caravan SXT is the choice for countryside deliveries. This van is strongest cruising around rural roads, and is capable down Midwestern gravel driveways. This van is also unique with one special innovation from Chrysler:
Stow and Go seats can fold completely flat, giving room for delivering furniture, or lots and lots of bags! Or toys! Tested by RatcliffReviews, we have fit an entire apartment's worth of things in the van, with no lack of power. By far the van is capable of the highest storage out of any of the vehicles listed at 167.9 cubic feet of interior volume. It is rated at 215 hp and 245 lb-ft of torque from the SXT-specific 3.8L V6. According to our research, this makes the Grand Caravan the largest displacement minivan you can buy!
Source: RatcliffReviews[BMW Blog]
2025 BMW M5 Touring
We said we needed a boat!
We've talked about this car before in our recent article. Weighing in at 5550 lbs, there's no doubt Santa can grip through the snow in this thing. The first M5 wagon to come to the states, this German powerhouse has a twin-turbocharged 4.4L V8 and a 194 hp hybrid motor. This combined output is 717 hp and 738 lb-ft. The battery pack is 14.8 kWh, not designed for range but designed for mild hybrid performance. The M5 Touring has 58 ft^3 of cargo volume, and maybe more if you don't use the second row.
So why do we need the wagon? What a strange question you ask, of course Santa needs a wagon. But this M5 with modern tech can drift around the snowy forests of Canada, Russia, and the northern countries.
Source: RatcliffReviews
1974 Kenworth W900A
Santa needs a big rig, and there's no more iconic semi than the one feature in the Smokey and the Bandit, a 1974 Kenworth W900A. Logistically, Santa can use air freight to move most of the presents. But then for town to town, the elves will need to move a lot of product. What's better for moving product on a short timeframe than the Snowman?
Under the hood can be either of two engines. First, a twin-turbo Cummins, or a 3408 Caterpiller engine. If you're curious, the movie actually showed three different trucks. Two identical 1974 models, and then a 1973.
Summary
Merry Christmas! Along with the chance to list off some epic cars, we wanted to take a moment to appreciate the reason for the season. Without the baby Jesus' birth on Christmas day, we wouldn't be here to write about cars. From RatcliffReviews, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and hope you find blessing in our savior Christ Jesus! And a happy new year!
[1] Car and Driver - 2023 Cadillac Escalade V
[2] Car and Driver - 2019 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1
[3] Kelly Blue Book - 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT
[4] Car and Driver - Shelby GT500
[5] Car and Driver - 2024 Ram TRX
[6] Car and Driver - 2025 BMW M5 Touring
[7] Whiteline Express - The Snowman From Smokey and the Bandit Drove a 1974 Kenworth W900A
